I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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