why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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