dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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