He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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