The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
