Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
