She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
