Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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