This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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