Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
