I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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