Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
