Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
