dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
