he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
