I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i already hear my dad disowning me
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
