i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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