My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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