how can u be prego again
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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