NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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