when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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