it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
