just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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