She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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