i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
