Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
