About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
birth control should be required to get into college
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
