I bet he comes in French.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
