from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
