Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
