I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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