I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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