Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sext me about skeletons
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
