so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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