i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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