i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
