After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
