Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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