I have demons in me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
