Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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