Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
