Sponge bath it is.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i think im in europe. pls send help
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