i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
