i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
