Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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