We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
