Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
