Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
