I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
