Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
