If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize