I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
