right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
