I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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